Benjamin is having a hard time with soccer right now. For the last few seasons with the local rec teams, he has been one of the older ones on the team. But this season? He's one of the youngest as he went from the middle school level to the high school team. So....going from the big fish to small fish? Not going over well with him. He's not getting a lot of play time and the older boys are just out running over him.
He's grown a lot this summer - taller than me now, but still he so skinny!!! He has gained a lot of muscle and strength since the team has been working out in the gym consistently since June. But he's still just getting out-run. He's still one of the younger ones.
And to top it off two of his friends who are also freshman are getting more play time. One has even scored already. Yea....he's a little bummed.
Drew and I are hoping that once the rec league is over and the high school league starts and he'll be playing with boys closer to his age, he'll have better success.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
A Melissa Conversation
Usually I have Benjamin conversations to share, but today in honor of Melissa's birthday, here's a conversation with her.
She was watching a new tv show the other day. The premise was a group of security experts trying to settle some security issue of great importance. She stopped the show then said to me, "That's what I want to do!! I want to be a security expert!!"
I said, "Ok" (This is an on-going conversations in this house with her...yea...she really has no idea what she want to do with her life...well...other than win Survivor, that is...) Then I said, "Dad has his master's in security management."
"WHAT??? DAD HAS HIS MASTERS? AND IT'S IN SECURITY MANAGEMENT??? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS????"
She was shocked! I had no idea she didn't know this....it's not like we were trying to hide it, but I guess it's just never come up in any of our daily conversations.
After the shock wore off, she said, "You know....I feel surprisingly more safe and secure."
Alright, then.....my kids just make me laugh!
She was watching a new tv show the other day. The premise was a group of security experts trying to settle some security issue of great importance. She stopped the show then said to me, "That's what I want to do!! I want to be a security expert!!"
I said, "Ok" (This is an on-going conversations in this house with her...yea...she really has no idea what she want to do with her life...well...other than win Survivor, that is...) Then I said, "Dad has his master's in security management."
"WHAT??? DAD HAS HIS MASTERS? AND IT'S IN SECURITY MANAGEMENT??? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS????"
She was shocked! I had no idea she didn't know this....it's not like we were trying to hide it, but I guess it's just never come up in any of our daily conversations.
After the shock wore off, she said, "You know....I feel surprisingly more safe and secure."
Alright, then.....my kids just make me laugh!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
More Conversations With Benjamin
As we were coming home from soccer the other day, Benjamin told me that he had spoken at one a meeting with one of the Christian groups at school that day during lunch. I asked him what he had spoken on, and he replied that they had given him an outline and it was on prayer.
I said, good. Prayer is good...in fact I had recently dug up an old prayer chart that had a character trait to pray for every day. The day before was kindness and that day was generosity.
Then Ben said, "Give me a dollar."
Me: "What???"
Ben: "Give me a dollar."
Me: "Why?"
Ben: "Well, you said you were praying to be more generous, so be generous and give me dollar."
Oh, that boy!
I said, good. Prayer is good...in fact I had recently dug up an old prayer chart that had a character trait to pray for every day. The day before was kindness and that day was generosity.
Then Ben said, "Give me a dollar."
Me: "What???"
Ben: "Give me a dollar."
Me: "Why?"
Ben: "Well, you said you were praying to be more generous, so be generous and give me dollar."
Oh, that boy!
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Tulips - My Latest Quilt Project
While it maybe the end of summer with fall coming soon, I've been into tulips. They are one of my favorite flowers and couldn't resist when I found a tulip quilt pattern. I ended up making two table runners (which are gifts) and two mini quilts (which one is a gift).
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Off To College
Friday I took William to college - and as normal in this life: I did it by myself. Yep. Drew was traveling. The original plan was for leave after Drew returned at noon, but the college changed the check in times from 1-4 to 9-1. There was just no way for Drew to get there in time. So. Just me.
When we got there, the parking was crazy full! We finally parked at the end of a row that was marked with red lines for a fire truck. I didn't think they would be towing people on check in day, so, we went with it.
We got there around 10:30-45ish and were the last of the four roommates there. William was upgraded from a normal dorm room to an on-campus apartment that has four private bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a small kitchenette. Two of the room mates are from the Houston area and have known each other all their lives - their parents all went to college together. They took the two upstairs bedrooms. One is an engineering major and the other is finance. The other roommate is from Arkansas and is, also, engineering. The Arkansas boy seemed quiet like William - the Texas boys were more outgoing. All the parent seemed nice.
Within a short time we got everything unload from William's car - with the help of the Texas boys and their fathers. William really didn't have a lot of stuff....we didn't buy him a microwave or refrigerator as the apartment came with those. We decided NOT to buy him a tv as he can watch a lot of things through his laptop. The Texas boys brought a very large tv and sat it up in the common area, so I was very glad we didn't buy a tv.
I didn't stay very long....just long enough to help William make his bed....unpack his things...have lunch. Then I left. I really didn't feel like I left him at college, because I knew I would see him the next day as we had tickets to the football game.
But leaving him after the football game? Now that's when I felt like I left my son at college!
He told us before the game that he and the room mates hung out a little Friday night - found some of the free food one of the campus groups were offering. While they were at the event, William ran into some high school friends and they all ended up going to one of the Christian groups facilities and playing games. Sounded like a good first night at college to me!
His classes doesn't start until Thursday, but the school and different groups have lots of things planned to keep the students busy - especially the new freshman students. I'm sure they'll have fun! William just needs to pick up one more book from the bookstore, but is set for his classes. This quarter he's taking two seminar classes, an English class, and a Calculus class...all of the classes are mid-morning to early afternoon times...I think it's a good starting schedule.
He's excited, I think....not that he shows a lot of emotions! But he's right where he's suppose to be.
When we got there, the parking was crazy full! We finally parked at the end of a row that was marked with red lines for a fire truck. I didn't think they would be towing people on check in day, so, we went with it.
We got there around 10:30-45ish and were the last of the four roommates there. William was upgraded from a normal dorm room to an on-campus apartment that has four private bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a small kitchenette. Two of the room mates are from the Houston area and have known each other all their lives - their parents all went to college together. They took the two upstairs bedrooms. One is an engineering major and the other is finance. The other roommate is from Arkansas and is, also, engineering. The Arkansas boy seemed quiet like William - the Texas boys were more outgoing. All the parent seemed nice.
Within a short time we got everything unload from William's car - with the help of the Texas boys and their fathers. William really didn't have a lot of stuff....we didn't buy him a microwave or refrigerator as the apartment came with those. We decided NOT to buy him a tv as he can watch a lot of things through his laptop. The Texas boys brought a very large tv and sat it up in the common area, so I was very glad we didn't buy a tv.
I didn't stay very long....just long enough to help William make his bed....unpack his things...have lunch. Then I left. I really didn't feel like I left him at college, because I knew I would see him the next day as we had tickets to the football game.
But leaving him after the football game? Now that's when I felt like I left my son at college!
He told us before the game that he and the room mates hung out a little Friday night - found some of the free food one of the campus groups were offering. While they were at the event, William ran into some high school friends and they all ended up going to one of the Christian groups facilities and playing games. Sounded like a good first night at college to me!
His classes doesn't start until Thursday, but the school and different groups have lots of things planned to keep the students busy - especially the new freshman students. I'm sure they'll have fun! William just needs to pick up one more book from the bookstore, but is set for his classes. This quarter he's taking two seminar classes, an English class, and a Calculus class...all of the classes are mid-morning to early afternoon times...I think it's a good starting schedule.
He's excited, I think....not that he shows a lot of emotions! But he's right where he's suppose to be.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Murders, Kidnappers, and Robbers
Saturday we took the kids shoe shopping ...nothing like waiting until the last minute before school started on Monday. It was, also, tax-free day. So...shall we say the mall was very busy???
As we were driving around to find a parking space, Benjamin made a comment about the scary looking van. What exactly is a scary looking van?? As we were walking towards the mall he pointed out the scary looking van.
Uh...Ben. That's just a van. It's called a full size van and that's what people drove before they started making mini-vans.
Ben's response??
"Well, I think only murders, kidnappers, and robbers drive those."
Well. Alrighty, then.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
The Powder of "No"
Last night William and many of the rest of the seniors spoke at youth group last night...not really their testimonies, but more of a 'parting thoughts' as it was their last night in youth group. When I asked him if I could crash in on the youth meeting so I could listen to him, he said no. I really wasn't surprised.
After all, he's eighteen and looking for ways to separate from his family and be more independent. And this is how we've raised them! Being independent and self-sufficient is a goal I have for my kids. (And by that I mean that they know how to do things by themselves, take care of themselves - not in a spiritual way, but physical, emotionally, etc.)
I texted and ask a few of my friends that help with the youth group to video-tape William. A few were like - "come on over anyway!!" But no. I wouldn't - couldn't without doing damage to how I have parent. But it made me think of why we do this. It's been so long since I have thought about it.
I think it started with two things. One was all the investigations of sexual assaults that Drew has done over the years. In many of them, it was the woman claiming she said "no", but the man claiming he didn't hear it. He's excuse many times was "but she was acting like she was enjoying it!!" (I've always that meant that the man thought he was such a good lover that no one could really turn him down - and he was so good he could change their mines....totally not realizing that he was really raping them.)
How many times have we seen in movies a women saying 'no' and 'stop it" while she was laughing, giggling, smiling? I don't think women mean to give mix signals, but many times we do. Maybe it's because we aren't taught to stand up for ourselves or taught to be assertive.
Around this time that Drew and I were having these discussions about his cases and the cases in the news, I read a book where a mother describe a scene she witness with her teenage boy and his fellow youth-group-friends. She was hosting a swim party for the group and at one point saw one boy trying to dunk a girl. While the girl was laughing as she was trying to get away from the boy, she was yelling 'no' and 'stop it'....but the boy did not. This mother stepped over and told the boy to stop - which he did. She then asked him if he heard the girl say "stop" and he admitted that he did. The mother said, "Then respect that!" The girl acted like she didn't want to make a scene and said, "Oh, it's okay - I know he was just playing around." The mother told her that no, it wasn't okay. 'No means no.'
This is what I have tried to teach my children - especially my boys. When someone says 'no' or 'stop it", you respect that. No means no. Whether it's William and Benjamin wrestling around like boys do or whether it's with coming into Melissa's room. I've said it many times where they were toddlers and preschoolers whining to get their way by asking over and over again - I said no. And I mean it!
When I subbed I would have a student ask for something...to change seats or whatever and I would say no. They would NOT take that as the final answer. They would ask over and over again. I would just looked at them, "I said no. Whining and asking over and over again may work at home, but not with me. That's my answer and it's not gonna change. The option is for you to accept or get a referral for being disrespectful." They would then usually accept it....but I, always, found it sad that they didn't know that no mean no....they had no idea how to accept that as an answer because they were so use to getting their way. Life doesn't work that way....no means no.... Even when I don't like it.
After all, he's eighteen and looking for ways to separate from his family and be more independent. And this is how we've raised them! Being independent and self-sufficient is a goal I have for my kids. (And by that I mean that they know how to do things by themselves, take care of themselves - not in a spiritual way, but physical, emotionally, etc.)
I texted and ask a few of my friends that help with the youth group to video-tape William. A few were like - "come on over anyway!!" But no. I wouldn't - couldn't without doing damage to how I have parent. But it made me think of why we do this. It's been so long since I have thought about it.
I think it started with two things. One was all the investigations of sexual assaults that Drew has done over the years. In many of them, it was the woman claiming she said "no", but the man claiming he didn't hear it. He's excuse many times was "but she was acting like she was enjoying it!!" (I've always that meant that the man thought he was such a good lover that no one could really turn him down - and he was so good he could change their mines....totally not realizing that he was really raping them.)
How many times have we seen in movies a women saying 'no' and 'stop it" while she was laughing, giggling, smiling? I don't think women mean to give mix signals, but many times we do. Maybe it's because we aren't taught to stand up for ourselves or taught to be assertive.
Around this time that Drew and I were having these discussions about his cases and the cases in the news, I read a book where a mother describe a scene she witness with her teenage boy and his fellow youth-group-friends. She was hosting a swim party for the group and at one point saw one boy trying to dunk a girl. While the girl was laughing as she was trying to get away from the boy, she was yelling 'no' and 'stop it'....but the boy did not. This mother stepped over and told the boy to stop - which he did. She then asked him if he heard the girl say "stop" and he admitted that he did. The mother said, "Then respect that!" The girl acted like she didn't want to make a scene and said, "Oh, it's okay - I know he was just playing around." The mother told her that no, it wasn't okay. 'No means no.'
This is what I have tried to teach my children - especially my boys. When someone says 'no' or 'stop it", you respect that. No means no. Whether it's William and Benjamin wrestling around like boys do or whether it's with coming into Melissa's room. I've said it many times where they were toddlers and preschoolers whining to get their way by asking over and over again - I said no. And I mean it!
When I subbed I would have a student ask for something...to change seats or whatever and I would say no. They would NOT take that as the final answer. They would ask over and over again. I would just looked at them, "I said no. Whining and asking over and over again may work at home, but not with me. That's my answer and it's not gonna change. The option is for you to accept or get a referral for being disrespectful." They would then usually accept it....but I, always, found it sad that they didn't know that no mean no....they had no idea how to accept that as an answer because they were so use to getting their way. Life doesn't work that way....no means no.... Even when I don't like it.
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